Shorter Mitt Romney: I didn’t really want to serve in Vietnam. I just liked the uniform.
Shorter Bobo Brooks: More giant statues of dead white men to cow the populace, please!
Shorter Paul Krugman (no link—he says this every day):
Why can’t you short-sighted, self-interested baboons do what’s best for America and listen to me? Wait . . . I think I just answered my own question.